FACEBOOK: The 11th Kind..

Recently, having a glance on my Facebook wall, I found a post from someone (and a lot others), something like, "...if you have a heart, post this on your wall..." and lot of other things. It really made me want to think, "Do I have a heart, oh wait, do YOU have a BRAIN"?

The people on Facebook, and I believe there are no exceptions - can be put into categories - for sure, like -

1. EVENT MANAGERS: They are always interested in arranging/promoting almost every event, and not only that, but they want you to RSVP too..
"There is this reunion at my 4th grade school. I myself have never been to this place ever, have changed schools 7 times and can't even think of attending this. You hardly have heard of the school, but would you please attend it?" And you know what, most of them choose "Yes". And then it says, "ABC (who lives in the US) is attending XYZ school reunion, India."


2. THE STATUS UPDATER: These kind of people - no matter what they are doing - eating, drinking, puking or jumping from the top of a skyscraper, or even sleeping (with someone or without someone!) - they never forget to update their status. No wonder if they put:

"XYZ: is just being robbed (updated via Blackberry®)"..

You better call cops with that Blackberry of yours, you #$^$%!!

Sometimes they are too nimble:
10:19 PM: "My cat just pooped!"
10:21 PM: "Oh cat pooped again, I'm worried!"
10:23 PM: "Cat is not pooping. Is it normal?"


3. THE GAMER: Gamers seem like the most worthless and redundant people in the world! They have already tried each and every gaming application on Facebook, and they also select "Challenge Your Friend" after they finish. They play all sorts of games - witty, kiddish, boring, slow, quick, stupid - anything, be it game, that's it.

They also play FARMVILLE and MAFIA WARS, and when they do, you are notified,
"PQR has sent you 7 black sheep."
I want to accept the sheep and leave them into their own farms, and to buy a big bomb from the Mafia to blow up the crops and the fields.


4. THE (SENTI)MENTALS: I don't know which calendars they use, but everyday is some "blah" day for them. Their walls often say,
"....If you have or had a mother (WTF! Am I delivered by FedEx?), put this on your wall...."

They also keep track of every child in the country who is suffering from cancer and want you to pray for them. And for themselves, they just want to further update the statutes and wander through Facebook pages!
And they also don't forget the nice hearts at the end of the status!♥♥♥


5. THE ANNOUNCERS: They don't care how foolish or useless it seems - they announce almost everything. In a way, they are updaters, "X is in Chennai and has just missed the train." If you were not doing Facebook, you would have probably made it moron! Sometimes they say, "Awesome food! Thanks to ABC, PQR, MNO and XYZ for the treat." Wait, I was not there! or "XYZ is listening to 'Friday' by Rebecca Black. Awesome song!"!!


6. THE QUIZ TAKERS: This class often overlaps with 'The Gamers' class. They don't leave any stupid-ass quiz on Facebook named, "What kind of jerk are you?" (You are actually each possible kind of jerk!), "Who has a crush on you TODAY?" or "What will be your future wife's initials?". And their equally redundant friend comments, "Woah! These are not your current girlfriend's initials!"


7. THE TAGGERS: Taggers are the most bitched people. They put any random picture in their album and tag everyone they know (until the tag limit exceeds). Their "just fooling around" friends also manage to start an equally random chain of comments on the picture and you are notified on every comment.

8. THE PERVS: These lewds always buy some spam-link accompanied by a thumbnail picture of a girl flashing, or a guy doing a girl, and "go to the links" promptly. You see their name in each and every post that is just "flooding" walls.

9. THE HUNTERS: They keep looking (and I don't know how they manage to) for the people having any remote connections with them, and send friends invite. Once, I got friends invite from a guy, because he and one of my cousin's friends went to the same school in 3rd grade!

10. THE WOMAN HUNTERS: Subset of (9), always, keep looking for girls on Facebook (actually everywhere). They keep flipping from one profile to another of their friends and as soon as they see a new girl, they don't fail to send her the invitation to be friends. And as soon as she (or may be "he") accepts the invite, they not only boast about, but also date her and get laid with her in their heads within next 5 minutes.

PS: Which kind am I? I am actually 11th kind: 11. THE NOTIFIERS: Who make observations and keep blabbing (or blogging), no matter any one wants to hear or not!

Science and Technology in India.. a side still unturned..

First of all, this is not an essay with some idealistic thoughts on backlashes of technology in India, so read it till the end, and think about it...
Ok, a few days ago, while doing some homework on my BTP, I was thinking, "Why is India still the "third world", despite of having this big bunch of talent.. and within 2 days I got a mentionable reason.. Just think of some scenes..

SCENE-1:
DEPARTMENT FACULTY ROOM AT ONE OF THE BEST TECHNICAL INSTITUTES IN INDIA
Professor A is sitting with Professor B. They are talking about their research works going on in their labs.

A: Yesterday, while discussing with X, one of my B.Tech. students, we got to a very good conclusion. I think no one has thought of that side of the picture. I think we have really found something mentionable.

B: Oh really? What is that?

A: Oh I am very happy to share it with you. Actually, I think we all should be discussing our knowledge. That can make the research work even faster. Anyways, back to the concept, we have named it "QUADRA PHASE REACTION PHENOMENON."

Professor A elaborates the main principles, which were found in the discussion. He seems very happy about it, and quite excited.
B is listeining everything, with full attention.

A(after explaining the whole thing): We have been designing experiments on this yesterday and I think, if everything goes on well, we can make history.

B: Oh yes, congratulations.

A: What progress are you making professor?

B: Oh we'll come to that, why don't you tel me something more about yours..

SCENE-2:
DEPARTMENT BUILDING
After a few days, X meets Y, who hardly seems to be working and is a Ph.D. student of B.
X: Hello sir, how is it going?

Y: Hi dude. "Aal izz well." Just chilling.

X(smiles): Oh, great.

Y: And you know what, Yesterday I was discussing things with sir, and found a new thing, what we have named, "QUADRA PHASE REACTION PHENOMENON". I think no one has ever found that thing before. We have been designing the experiments, and we are gonna create history, we just rock!!

(X is surprised. He rushes to A)
X: Sir, do you remember "QUADRA PHASE REACTION PHENOMENON"? I no more want to work on it...

SCENE-3:
DEPARTMENT SEMINAR ROOM WITH ALL THE STUDENTS AND FACULTY MEMBERS
Head of the Deptt: Well this is a memorable day in the history. Professor B and his student Y have found a brand new technology. We owe him for this. They have been chosen for the DIRECTOR'S CHOICE AWARD. Congratulations to both of them.

SCENE-4:

PROFESSOR B'S HOUSE:
There is a grand party going on.
B: Well students, I am proud of you, we will be "finding" new technologies through out the time we are here. But, for the time being, I have found a deadlock in this direction, as it is not possible for us to proceed anymore, we could not think of any experiment and nothing is coming up.. But remember, never, ever discuss anything to anyone, specially professor A, they might steal our research..

Well, "QUADRA PHASE REACTION PHENOMENON" is still waiting for its founder to step further...

How does it SOUND???

This time i have a "beautiful" poem...
It does not make sense though, still it makes sense...
The specialty is that it is brimming with alliteration :)
So here we go:

Teacher teaches tic-tac-toe,
Greener grasses gradually grow.
“History-Hunters” historically hits,
Swedish singer swiftly spits.
Dirty Dockers daily drool,
Crazy clinging keeps cool.
Mystery maiden made me mute,
Crappy kaizen kindled cute.
Laundry lather lavishly laid,
Flying feathers finally fade.
Shimmering shiny showers shine,
Flourishing flowers flourishing fine...

Done Everything, Doing Nothing

This time also, the spirit is same as that of the last 2 blogs, but title is slightly changed, as I did not want to write the 3rd blog with the same title. So today also I am doing nothing, only and only net surf. I tell you why.. actually, this is my last day at office, I am done with everything and have really nothing to do anymore.. Friday was last day, when I was done with everything; I had to present my work before the VICE-PRESIDENT, and I got a hell lot of praises and applause from everyone. They really liked my work (rather our work, Varun also got same welcome). One more remark from vice-president, THEY NEVER HAD SUCH A GOOD PRESENTATION EVER AT WIPRO.

Thus, after successfully completing my training work, perhaps fastest and the first completion among all the batch mates (a reasonable reason is that they all have a 5 days week, while mine was 6 days-week), I am now basking in my success and celebrating my day, as THIS WILL BE THE LAST DAY OF MINE AT WIPRO. This is fun to see my folks after such a long, as I have not seen them for last 5 months (leaving 1 day on May 12th) and my brother for last 1 year.

One more issue, during the last days here, we have messed with this stubborn, $%^#&#@ HR officer here on some issues and we have really shown him what we are... He is a jerk!!! Now he knows, that IIT people can not be treated like those from other local institutes, man this is fun!!

Anyways, I will not waste my blog space on a doofus, and let’s just go on…
I think, I have to close this thing as I have nothing much to tell, because I have not done anything and not doing either. So for those, who are still on intern and finding some congealing point or performing some FZCXY 1234 tests on the samples, going through boring literature and so on… I sympathize with you, as I have also gone through the same, but never got anything… so go on with each of yours “magnum opus” at least you had an advantage of 2 offs a week…

Take care and good bye ;) and of course, all the best…

Doing Nothing-II

Hi, I am back again, with the sequel of the last blog. Again doing nothing, another Saturday, but as the time of this blog will tell you, I have started writing this crap at 6:20. It is raining cats and dogs outside and I can go nowhere. Today at 5 pm, I have just been through a torrid experience, MY FIRST PRESENTATION AT WIPRO, which was not even that torrid. Rather, it was kind of fun. I feel proud of myself, I have done a very mentionable job on my project, which I have taken in hand, I am really good for something, it feels good. But even more inspiring thing was that this one more extra ordinary person was present there, VINIT MITTAL, their tech-consultant. Gee, this man is GOD!! He knows everything in the world; he is brimming with confidence, and HE IS AN EX-STUDENT FROM IIT DELHI ITSELF.

(I had to discontinue from here, as the rain stopped and it was 6:30 and from here, it resumes on Monday morning).
So, this is Monday morning, and I was so desperate to complete this blog. So I was telling about my presentation. Seeing it coming was a little frightening, as this was my first experience presenting myself and my ideas in an industry before these people with long-long experience and also a lot of knowledge too. Besides, this person Vineet Mittal was here, and he gives consultancy services to 22 companies. He has also rejected the president post at this prominent and the oldest FMCG group (keep guessing the name) in the country, may be the oldest in the world, at least one of the oldest. So this was not feeling good to prepare to present before such a person, but this whole thing passed very good. They were very impressed with my work, and also, VM was quite happy with what I had done. The most important thing was that he was very supportive, and never let you be looked down, or feel down.

Thus, the 1st phase has been passed successfully. And yesterday, I have completed here a month also. So I am just on the midway, and 1 more month in this place. Previously, time was not passing good, probably because of nostalgia, and missing IIT and my folks and all, but now time is running in full pace, and I think next 1 month is going to pass very easy.

Also, I don’t know thinking what, suddenly, the last week, the general manager called me in his cabin. Guess what, he said “I think you people should visit some places also. Will you like to go to Bangalore? I’ll arrange a cab for you, and you can take some third person also, who is familiar with Bangalore. And later, if you feel to visit some other place, you can tell me.” Aur kya chahiye!!! This is good!!! So now, I am looking forward to visit Bangalore or Mysore this Sunday..

So, that’s enough for the time being, and now, after the whole lot of panic because of presentation, I am feeling so soothed, so let me again sit down doing just trivia, and so, let me just bask in this soothing experience…

Doing Nothing...

Oh man, I had never thought I would be writing a blog while I am on my internship. Because all of the people, before whom I could hesitate to scribble this blog, are absent, cause thay all have left for a negotiation at Bangalore. Just 5 minutes back, I was chatting with shefali, and because she is writing a blog, I can say she has inspired me to write this blog.

Oh yes, on chatting, this chatting, is something, which I can never think of in this office, as I am working in Wipro, and also being a leading InfoTech group, they have a cutting edge in IT, they have blocked each possible way of communication. Gmail, Yahoomail, chats, everything. But fortunately, I have been friends with this system guy called Arshad, who told me how one can chat with this site, alongwith checking gmail and yahoomail both. Thanks to him. But, they are really good at blocking and have blocked each and every possible way to access orkut. So I have not orkutted for last 20 days..

Anyways.. yaar my new SIM has also not been activated for last one whole week, feels like I am the most oppressed soul in the world..

Chalo khair chhodo, this intern is still fun. They have a big big plant, with lots of prospects to learn and they have lots of issues to deal with, I have got full chemical masaala here, and trying to apply the whole crap I have been imbibing for the last 3 years. (They don’t know I am a dud.)

We are being treated like some very senior person, being addressed “sir” most of the people, and being paid full attention too, answered all the questions we ask, leaving every other task they would be doing, man this feels important. We have also been given a faithful “caretaker”, who hardly knows Hindi, same with English and as I know, we harldy know a word of “KannadA”, and I pass my eves teaching him Hindi words very intensively.

This place, is actually a suburb of Bangalore, called Tumkur, and is as UNdeveloped, as a city can be, and you have no place to visit within 3-4 hours, and because the office is 6 days working, so very far visit can also not be thought. Another good thing is, we are given a cozy accommodation from the company, and that place is, supposedly, the most “posh” area of Tumkur, and only means to time pass (except “teaching” Hindi to this caretaker) is the cable tv they have provided, (thanks to god!!), although the major number of channels on that TV is Kannada!!!

For the last 3 Sundays, we have been planning to visit some place, but 1st Sunday was rest Sunday, and last Sunday, the vice-president, Wipro CCLG visited to meet us specially, so that was also a cancellation. So last 20 days, we are just taking “rest” doing nothing but “ehsaan” on the company, and enjoying the “lazeez” food here…

Really internships are the best places to do “nothing”, especially when you get paid for this…!!! I hope, all of my batchmates would also be enjoying doing “nothing” ,wherever they are…

tumhari khamoshi ke us paar....

Hey friends,

Yesterday suddenly, going through my old stuff, I came across this poem of mine... coincidentally, I had written that in a girls' college... surrounded by a number of chicks... :) don't know for whom ;) may be you like it..

मन आज खाली सा है,
याद आती हैं वो यादें धुंधली,
हो जैसे सन्नाटा तोड़ती हुई तुम्हारी खामोशी,
नज़र आता है गुज़रे ज़मानों का वो प्यार,
झांकता हूँ जब तुम्हारी खामोशी के उस पार...

याद जब भी आता है गुज़रा हुआ वो वक़्त,
सोचता हूँ बेवफा कौन था, मैं या तुम,
राहें चुनी थीं साथ हमने, चल भी पड़े थे मगर,
चल ना पाए देर तक, मैं या तुम??
आज भी नज़र आती है उस रास्ते पे इक बड़ी दीवार,
झांकता हूँ जब तुम्हारी खामोशी के उस पार...

देखता हूँ तुम्हारी आँखों में हल्की हल्की सी नमी,
और देखता हूँ इन्ही आँखों में वो यादें धुंधली,
जब पल भर भी तनहा तनहा रहना मुश्किल मुश्किल लगता था,
और बिन तुम्हारे हर एहसास पागल पागल लगता था,
और रहना सांझ से पहले पहर तक बेकरार,
झांकता हूँ जब तुम्हारी खामोशी के उस पार...

पर क्यूँ न जाने आज इस चाँद का नूर मद्धम है,
दिल में गहरा दर्द भरा और मेरी आँखें पुरनम हैं,
रिश्तों में अधूरेपन को एक गहरी खाई है,
और हर इक रास्ते पे बस उदासी छाई है,
दीखता काला अँधेरा है क्षितिज के उस पार,
झांकता हूँ जब तुम्हारी खामोशी के उस पार...

जी रहा हूँ इसी उम्मीद में... तुम आओगी,
ज़िन्दगी के इस चमन में वही नूर फिर लोगी,
मेरे सपनों के आँगन में इक नयी चांदनी छायेगी,
और साँसे महकाने को एक नयी बयार फिर आएगी.
ढूँढता हूँ फिर मेरे जीवन में खुशियों की नयी बहार,
ढूँढता हूँ जब तुम्हारी खामोशी के उस पार...

साथ समेटेंगे हम अपने,
रह गए जो अधूरे सपने,
ज़िन्दगी के नए तराने,
खुशियों वाले नए अफ़साने,
और बरसेगा फिर प्यार,
और अब... तुम्हारी मुस्कराहट के उस पार...